Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Thoughts on still being pregnant

The two selfies I've managed to take recently: Trying to make some room for Baby Boy to just come on out (unsuccessful, if you were wondering). // and Micah telling Baby Boy all the fun things they'll do together once he's borned. 
Twice now, I've been SURE it was time to head to the hospital.
The first time was about a week ago. I woke in the morning with a sharp pain in my side. Unlike the dull ache of sore muscles or the weight of my heaving stomach- this pain felt new and horrible and wasn't relieved by shifting positions.
Since I had placental abruption with the boys, I was sure that the pain I felt was the placenta pulling away from the uterus. I lay next to my husband, waiting for him to wake up and comfort me - but eventually I had to get up to pee. On my way back to bed, I felt light-headed.
This is how is started last time, I thought. On my way back from the bathroom- I felt light headed, then started bleeding. I waited for the bleeding.
I lay carefully back down in bed and tried to hold very still. Every time I shifted my weight, I anticipated the slight pop I felt right before I was wheeled off to surgery, the pop of pressure on my pelvic bone and the disconnect of my organs.
I waited. And nothing happened.
I couldn't feel the baby moving, and started to panic. He is always moving. Fifteen minutes went by and he was holding mysteriously, upsettingly still.
Eventually I woke my husband up and we prayed together. The baby started moving, the pain went away, and I got up.
I moved slowly all day, waiting for the blood and the panic and my new boy. But none of those things came, and the next day we were back to business as usual.
It wasn't time yet, but I knew we were close.

Our room is now ready for a baby with a bookshelf stuffed with diapers, burp clothes, and tiny socks, and - even better- a beautiful handmade cradle by my Grandpa. // And the boys and my Mom are trying to help induce labor with some unsuccessful foot-rubs. 
 Yesterday, Travis and I went on our last date (possibly ever). First we had sushi, which was amazing and I stuffed myself far beyond my stomach's capacity. (A note: pregnant women can eat lots of sushi- things with cooked shrimp, crab, and eel are my favorite.) Anyway. First sushi.
Then we went to a nearby park to "briskly walk" laps. I started having immediate constant contractions. I timed them and was delighted that they were coming every 5-15 minutes. Irregular, but frequent. Not too painful, but uncomfortable enough that I hoped they were real.
Then we went to see The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I had a contraction every 6-7 minutes for the entire thing.
Two hours of very regular, pretty-close contractions.
This was it. When we got home, I topped off the hospital bag with my contacts-case, phone charger, toothbrush, etc. I was ready to settle down and time contractions for another couple hours (maybe get that newborn carseat finally buckled into the car) and then head to the hospital.

And my contractions stopped.
I went to bed, and only woke up twice (due to semi-painful contractions). My "labor" was over more quickly than it began. I did have a dream in which I delivered my baby, and Travis told me that he'd changed his mind about his name.
Needless to say, I woke up pretty annoyed in general.

The boys both have a hand on my bare stomach at.all.times if possible. // and looking at tiny newborn clothes in comparison to my big-boys' clothes probably made me cry. 

I mean, I am not even due yet. Not for over a week and a half. I should be patient. Babies come when they come.
But I feel like I've been pregnant FOR.EV.ER.
With the boys, I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 9 weeks along (3 false pregnancy tests). So I was already two months in when I "started" being pregnant. Add that to the fact that I delivered Grey and Micah a month early - and this pregnancy is THREE MONTHS LONGER than my last pregnancy. It feels three months longer, too.

You might recall that I had a doctor's appointment yesterday- during which I was hoping to get a membrane strip, go immediately into labor, and probably have a baby by now.
But that didn't happen. I showed up at the doctor's office, and the receptionist raised her eyebrows and asked, "What are you doing here?" before I could even tell her my name. (She knows my name. I've been there a lot lately...)
The doctor was not in. My appointment was not yesterday. 
Let's blame pregnancy brain. 
It's actually this afternoon. I took another walk in the park this morning, hoping to start something before my appointment. I bounced on a yoga ball. I ate a lot of chocolate cake and pizza (that probably starts... something, right?)
And I'm having contractions. Sometimes they're even painful. 
But they're infrequent, irregular, and not really different from the contractions I've been having for the last three months. 
Sigh. I know that I probably won't actually have the baby this week. But man, a girl can hope. 
I told the boys that the baby would come around Easter - so now, every day, Micah starts sentences that begin, "When the baby comes on Easter..."
Man. I want this baby by Easter. 
Is that so much to ask?

My big belly as I try to "shake my baby out," as Grey said. // The new favorite game at our house is playing house, which mostly consists of fighting over who gets to be the pregnant Mom and who has to be the Dad.

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(Almost) Wordless Wednesday - Superboys

As we played outside recently, the boys requested that I take some pictures of them "being superheros."
I love these pictures so much. They're so true to our life! I have smiley, happy, handsome boys - but rarely are they holding still. They are usually blurry little streaks of movement. 

We were joined by the boys' "best Elanor," and she was quick to join in the fun. Several times lately, I've accidentally found myself saying things like, "Please be kind to your sister," or (to Elanor) "Where is your brother?"
These three are really more like triplets than just neighbors and friends. We're lucky to have her around every day.
They have a lot of fun together.

These are my favorite weirdos and superheros.

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Monday, April 14, 2014

Photo a Day: April 6-12

If I have my way, this will be the last week of photos without a baby included. Of course, my due date isn't until the end of the month- so I am probably cursing myself by saying that.
But my mom is here now, and we're as ready as we're going to be - so this week would be perfect.
This morning we're going to go to the farm to walk around (I've been avoiding walking for months.) and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, in which I'm hoping she exclaims something like, "Why! You're dilated to a four! These NSTs show that you're in active labor! How lucky that you can't feel a thing, let's get you to the hospital!"
A girl can hope, right?

Anyway. Here are some pictures from our lovely week. Man, I've got some cute boys! I'm anxious to add another to my brood.

Sunday: My big-eyed beauty. // Monday: 3 more weeks! (Or less...)

 Tuesday: Grey loves his Great-Grandpa Mike! // Wednesday: Picking purple flowers.

 Thursday: My Micah boy.

Friday: A visit from my sister Mary and her new husband! Welcome to the family, Mike! // Saturday: I shoulda known better than to try to skip naptime.

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Friday, April 11, 2014

Quarter Century

Twenty-five feels like a grown-up age for some reason.
I guess because I'm a grown-up now.

Today is my birthday and this is what I look like:

I found a gray hair on my head, but I'm not too worried. It's inevitable.
Look at that denim shirt and brick wall. I guess it's because I was born in the eighties (barely).

I was going to write a whole thing, but it turns out - I don't want to. I just want to sit on my couch and eat the birthday candy bar that I found on my doorstep this morning while my kids are on a walk with their Aunt Moony.
Ah. So this is what being a grown-up is like...

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Thursday, April 10, 2014

Conversations with Three-Year Olds

Twice as many funny things today, since I didn't do this last week. Double the fun!

This week, I've been trying to get the boys to pronounce the letters F and V.
Forever, and no matter what, they P instead of F.
I am Punny, I talk on my Pone. They are good at Pinding things and running Past.
And they say B instead of V.
They like to help Bacuum. They are afraid of Bampires and Bolcanoes.
I had them repeat after me. "Fff. Fuh-fuh Fire."
And it always comes out, "Fff. Fuh-fuh PIRE!"
Okay. I don't mind too much. Mostly, it's still adorable.

Yesterday, I was also feeling really grateful that Travis and I don't curse or use swearwords - and if we do (okay. Nobody's perfect, especially me.) it's usually not around our children or frequent enough to be a thing. 
Grey dropped some small toys on the ground, and in frustration he began gathering them up and muttering "Dang it, dang it, gosh DARN IT."

The boys are really interested in what inanimate objects are doing when we're away from home. Several times a day, they'll ask "What's our milk doing? What's my sandwich doing? What's my bunkbed doing?"
I usually say, "Nothing," and they ask, "It's just waiting for me at home?"

Grey: I love cookies! I eat them all gone and then I grow bigger!

Grey: Who is the sad boy?
Me: It's Uncle Jack, he has an earache.
Grey: Oh. I can go make him happy!

Micah: It's my turn, Grey!
Grey: My name is Big Boy.
Micah: It's my turn, Big Boy!
Grey: Okay. Thank you.

Grey: Watch me, Grandma Polly!
Me; That's not your grandma Polly.
Grey: Watch me, Grandma Pitcher!
Me: Nope. Her name is...
Grey: Grandma WHAT?!
Me: Grandma Marcie.
Grey: Oh! Watch this, Marcie!

Me: At least I know that if monsters come, you will protect me. Right?
Micah: I WILL protect you! Me and Grey, and Jack and Daddy! We can protect you together!

Micah: M is to Micah, and mountains, monsters, and mommy and Katie and Grandma!

Grey: Why she is at her friends' house?
Me: Katie likes to play with her friends. Don't you like to play with your friends?
Grey: I only like to play with Grandma Polly and Tate, and their toys, and water balls.

Grandma: They don't have a puppy.
Grey: They just have a tiny dog?
Grandma: No, they just have a cat.
Grey: I want a cat at my house, I want to catch one for in my home.

Grey: Hi man! Hi crazy man over there! How did you get over there crazy man?

Micah: Aw man, not again!

Grandma: Hi, Crazy Grey!
Grey: I'm not crazy! I'm Big Boy! You are crazy!

Micah: I'm going to cut you in half!
Me: What?! Why?
Micah: So I can eat up all your pieces!

 **Looking at his pretend watch**
Micah: Oh! It's seven o'clock! We better eat our pizza! Quickly!

Me: I think I saw a ghost. Go check in the bathroom and see.
Micah: It's a weird ghost! It's an Uncle Jack Ghost!

**Pointing to an old family picture at my parents' house**
Grey: These are my fathers. Don't take them away. A big storm came and soaked them all, but don't do that.
Me: I would never do that.
Grey: These are my special family. I love them. I talk to them whenever I have ideas.

Micah: Can we go to the beach?
Me: Sorry, no.
Grey: We can pretend to go to the beach?
Me: Sure.
Grey: Okay, this is all water and this is warm sand.
Micah: Get your feet out of the lake, Mom, it's cold!

Grey: Aha ha ha!
Micah: Are you Old Man Winter?
Grey: No, I'm really nice!
Micah: Why you said "Aha ha ha!" to me like a bad guy? Why?
Grey: I'm just bringing the rain down so you can watch it fall. You can do it with me, Micah.
Micah: Aha ha ha!

Grey: There's a big spider in my room! We better smash it! He will tell him family and him family will come so we better smash it. If any other spiders come, we can smash them all! We will get them with toilet paper and flush the big spiders away!

Micah: Look at my poop! It's impressive.

Grey: I need a lot of pillows, because my body hurts.

Micah: No, Mom. You need to go lay down in your bed and not wake up.

Micah: Where are we?
Grandma: We're in the middle of nowhere.
Micah: We're in the middle of YESwhere!

Micah: At the park, I will push the kids.
Grey: Oh no, Micah! We can't push kids, that would make them feel sad!

**Micah held a cough drop in his palm and licked it.**
Micah: Look! I eating this, like a bear eats honey!

Grey: We have more milk and apple juice and we can drink it all, Micah! We can, Micah! Hurray! MICAH, WE CAN DRINK ALL THE MILK AND APPLE JUICE, MICAH! Micah!
Me: Micah, please respond to your brother.
Grey: We have milk and apple juice to drink ALL, Micah! Hurray!
Micah: That sounds pretty good.
Grey: Hurray, Micah! Hurray!
Micah: I don't HAVE to say hurray, Grey.

Me: What's your favorite part of Frozen?
Micah: When they fight the robots.

Grey: Can we watch a movie?
Katie: Grandma said no.
Grey: Well, I said YES.

Micah: Don't smash me, Mom! Don't smash me!
Me: Okay.
Micah: Don't trap me, Mom!
Me: I won't trap you.
Micah: Okay. I need you to trap and smash me.

Micah: What do cows eat?
Me: They eat grass.
Micah: Cows can't eat grass! That's too gross!

Me: Do you guys want to stay here with Grandpa and have a boy date while Grandma and Mom have a date?
Micah: Yes! Great! Grey and Micah will go on a date with Grandpa and you can leave!
Grey: What is your date named?
Me: Pedicures. It means they'll paint my toenails.
Grey: Hmm. What's my date called?

Micah: You can pop that balloon for real. Bite it with your teeth.
Me: Please don't pop it.
Grey: I have to. Micah said to to me.
Me: Well, I said not to pop it.
Grey: It will scare Micah?
Me: No, it just means you won't have a balloon anymore.
Grey: Micah, will you be scared if I pop the balloon?
Micah: No, I'm fine. You can pop it!
Grey: Micah said I can do it, Mom, so I can!

Me: What did you do with Grandpa today?
Grey: We went to the dead animal store. [Sportsman's Warehouse?]
Me: Wow, were there lots of animals?
Grey: Dead, Mom. I said DEAD animals.
Me: Yeah, they're cool, huh? Did you see any BIG animals?
Grey: A moose. Lots of Mooses. I wanted to ride one like a bicycle, but I couldn't climb up to it.

Grey; Look! Bees make honey in these flowers and then we take it home and have peanut butter honey sandwiches! Yay!

Grey: Please I need a tissue. My nose is all boogers.

Grey: Where are we?
Micah: I think the middle of nowhere.

Micah: Hold this for me, Doctor Becky.

Micah: Hey Sun. Get out of here! Get up off the floor, don't you know it's icky?

Micah: I have an idea!
Me: What is it?
Micah: I can go to Katie's house, and play with all her toys. Then I will drink my milk all gone and eat all my applesauce and then go to sleep.

Micah: The sun is in my eyes.
Grey: Why?
Micah: Because. The sun is in my eyes.
Grey: Why?
Micah: Why you keep saying why to me?

Micah: Aunt Noelle will sit on my lap.
Me: But you'll get squished!
Micah: I love squishings! I do! I love that squishing game.

Me: Dinner time! Please come in and eat.
Micah: We're fine, thanks!
Me: Come in and eat, please.
Grey: No, Mom! We're FINE!

Me: Uuurgh!
Micah: Hey, Mom. You feeling frustrated?

Micah: I have an idea!
Travis: What's your idea?
Micah: Last night, I totally slept. But I said, "Oooh-whoo-whoo! I sad! I crying!" I said.
Me: So, what's your idea?
Micah: I want to do that again.

Grey: Whobody jumps in the clouds?
Me: I don't know, honey.
Grey: I think we need to ask somebody who knows about clouds.

Me: What do bears eat?
Grey: Pretzels and jelly.
Me: Pretzels and jelly? That sounds delicious!
Grey: I wanna eat some of that, too, please.

Micah: What's my bunkbed doing?
Me: That's not your bunkbed.
Micah: I know! But what's MY bunkbed doing at home?
Me: Nothing. It's just sitting at home waiting for you.
Micah: It's not walking to meet us here?

Me: Your dad is so handsome.
Grey: No. He is funny.
Me: I think he's handsome, too!
Grey: No, Mom. He is so FUNNY only.

Micah: A lot of people go there [the hospital] to make them feel healthy.
Me: That's right, honey!
Micah: Because they got beaten.

Micah: Stop talking! Mom and Grey, please stop talking!
Grey: No! We talking to wechother, because we love wechother!

Me: Can I come snuggle with you?
Micah: No. My bed is too tiny. You need a big Mom bed.
Me: I'm going to come in and lay with you for just a minute.
Micah: Stop. Get out! My bed is too small for you! Uuuuugh, get out! You're so big!

Micah: I'm drawing you. Here's your big head.

Micah: Snuggle us one a time, only. Grey can have the turn now.

Micah: Did you see my puke run down my belly and down this leg and down mine other one leg?
Me: What? Puke?
Micah: At Grandma Pitcher's house, because my belly hurt.
Travis: How does your belly feel now?
Micah: Crazy!

Micah: Remember we go to Tabby's and she cuts all our hair?
Me: Yep. Is that what this is a picture of?
Micah: No. This is a picture of you cutting your own hair by yourself at Tabby's house.

Micah: This is Daddy's work?
Me: No. You know what your Dad's work looks like.
Micah: Oh. Is this Santa's house?

Micah: I'm going to build my own movie theater to watch movies, but you guys can't come. Dad have to drive me, so you can come in the car- but then you have to come home together. Does that sound alright?

Micah: A zebra is scratching your baby.
Me: What?! That would scare me.
Grey: You would be so scared if a zebra scratched your belly, and I think you would get hurt.

**Poking me in the breast** 
Grey: A queen has these.
Me: Has what?
Grey: Breasts. Like Queen Elsa.

**During Bedtime prayers **
Grey: Thank you Aunt Noelle and Tate. Thank you Aunt Tessa... essa... essa... And salsa. And Noelle again.  Thank you for Mommy, and her baby and her belly and her breasts and her arms.

Grandma: You need to be washed up before you eat anything.
Grey: I need to climb in the washing machine?

Micah: Queen Elsa can make freeze snow-water, just like Frozone and Old Man Winter!

Me: What's your horse's name?
Micah: I don't know!
Me: Hmm... Is it Buttercup or Bullseye?
Micah: No! It's Eli!
Me: Oh, Eli is a good name for a horse!
Micah: Eli IS a good name. And Buttercup is a really bad name.

Micah: Make a funny face! Haha, make another funny face! Haha, yeah, Mom! Make a funny face! Oh. Mom. That one is gross.

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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Names in vouge

The boys with their two best friends, Elanor and Eli
It's funny looking at the cycles names go through.
When we announced Grey and Micah's names to our friends and family there were two reactions.
Everyone over a certain age (about 50, I think) hemmed, grimaced, and tried to talk us out of them. They had two arguments: 1. The names are uncommon and no one likes having an uncommon name and 2. They're old man names.
Now we are having the same reaction to Baby Boy's name. The same people who were against Grey and Micah are against this baby's name. In addition to being assured (multiple times) that the baby's name is an old man's name, we also frequently get the question: How did you come up with this name?
Oh, I just invented it. I'm a name inventor.

My grandparents shudder at the names of the boys' friends. My favorite is the older generation's reaction to the name Hazel. I think Hazel is such a warm, feminine, pretty name, and we know a couple little girls called Hazel. But I've been told by several people that Hazel is an old lady name, in addition to it being
A witch's name
A servant's name
And the name of the nosey neighbor.
But I'd never met anyone named Hazel before those little girls, so I think of curly haired three-year olds in sparkly shoes- not someone with pince nez glasses.

We are continuously encouraged to choose a "good solid name" like Joseph or Matthew.
But that's what so many people in my generation are flinging themselves away from. No more Brittanys and Joshes! No more Heathers and Brians!
(We know about a half dozen men named Josh, and it's really starting to confuse my children.)
Instead we play with kids named
and Annalise

Old man names.
Old lady names.  I guess.
But let's be real, the only people I actually know with those names are children. And I love those names (and my boys names).
Even if some of them do turn into the next Jennifer.

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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Photo a Day: March 30 - April 5

I finally downloaded some pictures from last week! It's crazy to think that we were still in Nevada a week ago. A lot has happened in the last seven days. Although, judging by my pictures - nothing has happened! I guess we just felt busy. And speaking of busy, I'm a little worried that this blog will suffer once Baby Boy is born. Keep your fingers crossed that I will feel the need to publicly and obsessively document every moment of our lives. So far, I'm really good at that. 

Sunday: My mama and me. I love her the most. // Monday: Jack with Micah and Katie with Grey. Aunts and Uncles are so fun!

 Tuesday: Micah and Grey with Grandpa before they left for Mary's wedding.

Wednesday: My Micah. // Thursday: My Grey. Geez, do you think they're twins?

Friday: We came home to a beautiful Utah spring! Our backyard is filled with blossoms and blooms. // Saturday: Travis and his Dad, looking dapper before the men's session of General Conference.

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Monday, April 7, 2014


I think I'm nesting.
Suddenly all those things that I've been putting off for days (okay, weeks) seem supremely important.
Every day has a to-do list at least ten items long. (And then additional to-do list for Travis to complete when he gets home.)
I have a list of stores to visit, and each store has a list of specific items to be purchased therein.

I am 37 weeks today.

So I packed a hospital bag. Then I realized there were a bunch of things on my "hospital bag list" that I didn't have. Like a nursing nightgown and extra Chapstick, so more items were added to my "To Buy" lists. (Sorry, honey.)
Freezer meals need to be prepped.
Easter Basket supplies need to be gathered.
Cloth diapers need to be washed.
Dresser drawers need to be reorganized.
Burp clothes, tiny socks, soft-bristle brushes, and all those baby things that didn't end up packed with newborn clothes need to be rooted out and put somewhere handy.

I don't have time to blog, you guys. I'm not sorting through and editing Photo A Day pictures this morning.

I think I need to hang that stack of picture frames sitting in my room. It's super essential that it GET DONE NOW.

Oh. But also, man I'm really tired and hungry. Feel free to drop off a chocolate milkshake or a steak if you're in the neighborhood.
Because in addition to deciding that it's time to tackle all this stuff, I also have a regular family and house to manage and am 37 weeks pregnant. And you guys. My house is a freaking pigsty.
Sweeping and gathering toys is too hard to do. Cleaning supplies are out of the question. And every time I manage to successfully put something away- it's immediately retrieved and scattered by a little blond tornado.
Plus, my Braxton Hicks contractions are getting slightly out of hand. Every time I stand up, sit forward, reach out, or generally move- I seize up. I even started timing them yesterday since they were so frequent. But not quite frequent enough.

Okay, baby. Just wait. Just wait a week and then we will all be ready for you. (Ha!)

Okay. Fine. More ready, at least.

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Thursday, April 3, 2014

Mike and Moony

Tomorrow, my little sister Mary is getting married. I don't get to be there because she's getting married in California and I'm eight months pregnant, so both a plane ride and a long drive are out of question. (I'm actually headed home today from Nevada! Pray I don't go into labor in the middle of the Salt Flats, okay?)

So I'm a little heart broken about it. I wish that I could be with my sister tomorrow on one of the most important days of her life to support her and share in the love and excitement that come with a wedding.
But since I can't be there to be the self-righteous and all-knowing older sister that she always accuses me of being, I have some wise words of advice for my girl and her fiancé.
This is the advice that Dad gave me about marriage:
Find your soul mate. Fall madly in love. Stay that way forever.

So far, so good. Here's to forever, Mary!
I love you.

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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday - Mountain Climbers

One of our first days visiting my parents, my dad took the boys "on a walk."
From my place of pillowed comfort at my parents' house, I saw a picture of the boys on my Mom's Instagram with the horrifying caption, "Sometimes I have to stand back and let them explore even if it means a few broken bones or stitches. 'I'm just kidding.' I hope."
Wait. What? On their arrival home, Grey and Micah were pretty pleased to report that they had "climbed a big mountain." And every day since then, they've requested a chance to climb another mountain with Grandpa. I love my explorer boys and their desire to climb high and take risks - although I would prefer no broken bones!

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