Sunday, March 6, 2011

The NICU

People keep saying "sleep while you can," and they talk about how awesome and restful it is to be in the hospital.
And they are wrong.
I suspect having two babies in the NICU is more exhausting than having two babies at home.
Because if I want to hold my babies I have to leave my bed, climb into a wheelchair and be moved to a different floor and wing of the hospital. Then I spend a half hour pumping milk. Then I spend an hour feeding the milk to the babies through a syringe, and holding them skin to skin.
After an hour and a half in the NICU, I get to come back to my bed and eat or sleep for an hour and a half.
Then I go back to the NICU.
It's a trip that I take every three hours, day or or night.
And if I were at home and the babies were in the room next door or could be brought to me then I think that twins wouldn't be so bad or hard as people say.

But I'm worried that I will be discharged on Tuesday and the babies will be here another two weeks (that's how things are looking right now).
And I will still spend all my time in the NICU, but instead of getting to return to a bed every three hours, I will spend my time on the couch in the waiting room, waiting until they say I can hold the boys again.

I am grateful, I suppose, that the boys are in the NICU being cared for and monitored and that they are both healthy and well.  I am grateful that, for now, I am only a floor and few hallways away.
But I'm scared.
I want to have the boys home with me.
Or to have them in my room.
Or to be allowed to hold them whenever I want, instead of having to abide by the nurses' schedule.

But at least they get to be snuggled up together.
Aren't they the cutest thing you've ever seen?

7 comments:

Lauren said...

They look adorable and very snuggly. I can't wait to see you! Let me know when you are up for visitors, okay?

MARCIE said...

Hospitals are a terrible place to try and rest. I can see why you would be stressed. Don't feel guilty if you need to stay in bed in the middle of the night. They are being taken care of. You need to heal. I love the pictures, and yes, they are so adorable!

The Spencers said...

You are 100% right. Taking care of babies in the NICU is harder than at home. I was in the exact boat. I couldn't walk, and it was such an ordeal to get there. I finally asked if I could pump in my room. So I would do that while I was in my bed, then Richard would wheel me to the NICU. Leaving the girls there the day I went home was so hard. I cried all the way home, but we were able to bring them home 2 weeks later. So hang in there. Your boys are so cute. That's great that they can be snuggled together. It took my little Cadence about a week before they were ok to take her out of her isolette. She was just so tiny and couldn't keep her body temp up by herself. Anyways, hope your doing good and healing. You have a cute little family!

Kari said...

They are adorable. And know that you're doing a great job and the babies are in excellent hands in the NICU. You all will be going home sooner than you think. XO

Mama Mandolin said...

Ohh the cuteness is too much! Becky you are doing an amazing job. It's so good that you're able to pump for them and give them the most amazing superfood they can get. I know it feels like an eternity but 2 weeks and then you'll get them for a million weeks after. Just 2 weeks to get both you and babies strong enough to start this journey...and trust me your body will be feeling SO much better in that short time.

Hang in there! You have so many people rooting for all 4 of you!

Brittany said...

Yep, The NICU is exhausting.I hated not having them in my room with me. I went to a breastfeeding class at our hospital and everyone brought their babies with them in their little rolling beds. I started bawling and had to leave 10 minutes into it because I wanted my girls. I hope your boys surpass everyone's expectations and get to come home sooner. They thought mine would need to stay the weekend, but after a blessing from my husband, were able to come home with us. Praying and fasting for your little guys!

Rachel said...

That is soooo cool that they let them be snuggled together. My hospital wouldn't put my twins together. They said I could feel free to do it when they were with me, but on the nurse's watch, they had to be separate! Loved when I got them home and could put them together all the time! This NICU time seems strenuous, but before you know it they will be home and you will be able to snuggle together! Praying for rest for you!